Room With A Moose

Crazy Chipmunks Bite Me

2005-04-28T22:42:00.000-04:00

Sunday was day after tomorrow
I don’t want a dishwasher
Where the leprechaun flew over the rainbow
I don’t need the super hero
Who saved the piggies from the dirty shorts
I have plenty of toilet paper
And it’s too hot for a sweater
All I want is a banana

I don’t want a dancing chipmunk
I have no use for a toaster oven
I might like a pizza milkshake
But there are more important mangos to fry
And I’m all full of kittens and butterflies
I have no need for pet chimpanzee
I definitely don’t want a box of fleas
I want a Banana!

I’m allergic to fairy dust
I’ll only eat gophers if I must
I don’t care what the Easter Bunny has
I don’t want anything from the Muffin Man
I know how many pancakes fit inside a doghouse
I told you I don’t want a dead mouse
I am the Llama!
I wanna Banana!

well, that was random........

2005-02-24T18:05:00.000-05:00

*Draculies appears singing loudly and horribly off-key*

I Haaaaaad aaa liiiiiittle buuuumbllllebeeeeeeeeeEEEEE!
It fleeeeeewwwww aaaawwaaaay frooooooom meeeeeeeEEEEEE!!!
Theeeeeeeeen iiit hiiiiiit aaaAAAAAaaaa treeeeEEEEE!!!!!
It Diiieieieeeied and nooooooooooooww it caaaaaan't eeescaaaaaape frooooom meeee!!EE!E!E!E!

*disappears*

[I had a little bumblebee
It flew away from me
Then it hit a tree
It died and now it can't escape from me]

Don't ask. It's much safer not to know. Take my word for it. I don't want to know either.

Hp and Kat episode1

2005-02-13T17:22:00.000-05:00

Hp and Kat's Mentally Disturbing Adventure
Episode I
The Beginning of all Things Insane

Kat: all my links disappeared from my blog!!!
Kat: AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Hp: awwwwwwwwwwwwww
Kat: what?
Hp: your links disappeared.
Kat: I bet the evils space monkeys stole them!!
Hp: Omg! Don’t even say that!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hp: we have to get them somehow now...
Kat: I’ll get the almonds!!!
Hp: ok!
Kat: you get the umm....
Kat: scissors!!
Hp: why scissors?
Kat: y almonds?
Kat: because we can!
Hp: b/c there cool
Hp: Alighty then *sees an evil space monkey* Acio brain!!!
Hp: ha! He’s brainless now!
Kat: l lets eat it!!
Hp: umm… ok *eats evil spaces monkeys brain*
Kat: I’ll get the almonds *runs to get almonds*
Kat: hey I want some!!!
Hp: here you go *hands sum brains to Kat*
Kat: Muhaha… *eats brain*yum… tastes like bacon!
HP: I’m a vegetarian! Aaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Spits it out*
Kat: don't worry! It’s artificial space monkey brain completely organic!!
Hp: Alrighty then *eats some more*
Kat: look !! Another one!! *Throws banana at evil space monkey*
Hp: CRUCIO!!! *Evil space monkey does the chicken dance*
Kat: YAY!! Hey, dinner and a show!!
Hp: whoop its IMPERIO!!! Sorry, I get them mixed up.
Kat: no problem.
Hp: ok, so he’s dancing and being tortured... hmmmmmmmmm interesting...
Kat: cruel and unusual punishment!!!
Kat: look the one in the tutu has my brain!!! And it's getting away!!!
Hp: no!!! Avada Kedavra!!!
Kat: AAAA!!! You killed my brain!!
Hp: Nuh-uh! I killed the very evil space monkey that’s mean enough to STEAL your brain in the first place
Kat: oh, ok
Hp: yeah
Hp: got the almonds? *Runs to get scissors*
Kat: make sure you run with those scissors!!
Kat: run don't walk!
Hp: got it
Kat: o-no!!
Hp: what?
Kat: the Chinese reptilian koala stole our almonds!
Hp: oh no! *Runs after it*
Kat: run, Hp, run!!
Hp: *catches up w/ it* POKE!!!
Kat: YAY!! Poke of DOOM!!!!
Hp: *grabs almonds and returns*
Kat: hooray for Hp!!! My hero!! *Audience cheers enthusiastically*
Hp: oh please, you’re too kind *takes deep bow*
Kat: I’m smart I used a BIG word!!
Hp: Yay for you Kat! *Audience cheers even more enthusiastically*
Kat: oh, thank you so much, but we still have not found my links!!!
Hp: hmmm…. *thinks*
Kat: don't think too hard you might explode!
Hp: *hires Snape to look for missing links*
Kat: Yay, Snape!!! Hp you’re so smart!!!
Hp: thank you, thank you
Kat: *Audience cheers and throws roses*
Hp: *runs up to Snape* your very snapessy, Severus *flirts a bit* so... Severus *strokes his arm*... can you do us a favor? My very bestest friend has lost her links...
Kat: Quick!!! To the Katmobile!!!
Hp: *runs to Katmobile*
Kat: *chicken dances to Katmobile*
Kat: who's driving?
Hp: umm… I will
Kat: ok! I call shotgun!
Hp: *opens door* one teeny problem though.... I dunno how to drive... *starts the Katmobile and does that thing they do in movies. You know, that thing when you go fast? Well yeah*
Kat: I have a need for speed, Hp!!
Kat: more like an obsession
Hp: *goes faster* where are we going again?
Kat: Taco bell!!!
Hp: *sharply turns right b/c there’s a bunch of people protesting on the streets* taco bell it is!
Kat: you missed the pedestrians!!!!
Hp: what are those?
Kat: the people who aren't in cars
Hp: oh, ok
Kat: Quick!! Before they close!!
Hp: *pulls up to the drive thru thingy b/c that’s the only place that’s open according to there thingy*
Hp: always great, even late... or is that Wendy’s?
Hp: open late, even late...? hmmm…
Kat: Burger King
Hp: oh ,ok
Kat: naw it’s Wendy’s
Hp: ?
Hp: well ok * pulls up to the speaker thingy* watchya want Katter?
Kat: 5 large supreme tacos 6 burritos 10 Quesadillas[spell?] and a large Coke
Kat: and a Hotdog!
Hp: ...
Hp: umm… alright...
Kat: what r u getting?
Hp: mashed potatoes for me please …and pizza
Kat: should we get something for Sevy?
Hp: umm…I dunno what do you think?
Kat: umm…
Kat: I’m thinking a salad and a Boca burger
Hp: ok and orange soda
Kat: indeed!!!!
Hp: ok coke…or
Hp: but he’s all... dark and stuff...
Hp: try to imagine him holding something orange...
Kat: Starbucks!
Hp: ok but we need our food first *drives up to second window* *lady person gives food*
Kat: but isn't this a Starbucks/Taco Bell?
Hp: really? coolies! I hadn’t noticed...
Kat: Quick before she realizes we didn’t pay!!
Hp: *drives away*
Lady: *raises fist w/ furry*
Kat: O-no they're onto us! Push the red button!!!
Hp: Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh *pushes red button*
Kat: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Hp: what?
Kat: we're going really fast now
Hp: Yay!
Kat: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Kat: *suddenly car runs out of gas* How did we end up in London?!
Hp: wow...
Hp: I bet Severus was behind it...
Kat: where is he?
Hp: hmm…
Hp: right behind you! *Points*
Kat: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Kat: *hits Snape* don’t do that!!!!
Hp: *pushes Kat aside and asks Snape for an autograph*
Kat: Hey lego my Eggo!!!*takes back her waffle* (don’t ask )

Kat: where are my almonds?!!!
Hp: in the Katmobile?
Kat: I’ll go look *chicken dances to Katmoblie*
Kat: I can't find them *rips car apart* AAAAAAAAAA
Hp: *pulls out a time turner* lets go look for it then!
Kat: ooooo… shiny!!!!!
Hp: *chains Kat and Snape*
Kat: that sounded wrong
Hp: lol I’m sorry
Kat: it's funny
Hp: *puts THE chain around the 3 of us*
Kat: ok let's go
Hp: Ok where do we stop?
Kat: umm… Disney World!!!
Hp: Okie dokie
Kat: too infinity and beyond!!!
Hp: *hums *its a small world after all
Kat: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA now it's stuck in my head!!!
Hp: I’m sorry
Kat: it's ok
Hp: hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kat: hey is for horses! What?
Hp: the haunted hotel!!!!!!!!! That dudes kind of cute.….
Kat: Oh, which one?
Hp: the hotel dude from the commercials... and he’s in the elevator...? There’s something about him
Kat: ooo… that one!!
Kat: I dunno who your talking about
Kat: OMG it Dracula!!!!! *Screams and runs to Dracula*
Kat: Wait! Come back!! Don’t run away!!!
Hp: run after him!
Kat: I am!!!
Hp: do you think Snape and Draculs know each other?
Kat: I don’t know.....
Kat: Draculs…. I like that, new nickname!!!!
Hp: Yay!
Kat: they look related. I wonder....
Hp: I’ll ask him
Hp: hey Severus, do you know Dracula?
Hp: hey Dracula, do you know Snape?
Snape:...
Dracula:...
Snape: indeed
Kat: Draculs accent is too thick I can't understand him!!
Dracula: ve've met
Hp: (lol)
Kat: (that vas too funny!!!)
Kat: pencils keep falling out of my head!!
Hp: my brains keep falling outta mine!
Kat: poor Hp…
Audience; awwww
Hp: here *duct tapes Kats head*
Kat: ok, here*duck tapes Hp's head*
Hp: its ok see? *Duct tapes own head*
Hp: thanks!
Kat: your very welcome
Kat: o-no Draculies is getting away!!!! brb!!!
Hp: awwwwwwww ok
Kat: ok *ties up Draculies* he won't be doing that again
Hp: ok
Hp: hey I should do that to Sevy if he tries to run away too
Kat: but he seems to behave pretty good
Hp: I know he’s a real gentleman
Hp: ok *uses imperious curse to make Dracula non-runaway-able*

Kat and Hp Episode2

2005-02-11T18:16:00.000-05:00

Episode II
The Elevator and the Pants

Hp: [smilie goes here]
Kat: [giant smilie goes here]
Kat: o-no attack of the smilies!!! Draculies save me!!
Hp: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Draculs: vat should I do?
Hp: [evil smile goes]
Hp: [extra evil smilie goes here]
Kat: kill it!!!
Draculies; You!! I’m not going near that thing!
Kat: what good are you if you can't kill a smilie!!! *Steps on smilie*
Dracula;YAY!!! My hero!!
Kat: *shakes head*
Hp: grass, look! there’s one more!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hp: [smilie]
*Draculies screams like little girl*
Kat: you wimp!!
*Snape slaps Dracula*
Snape: snap out of it
*Draculies passes out*
Hp: now’s your chance Kat! cpr! cpr!
Kat: YAY!!!!
*Draculies suddenly wakes up*
Kat: darn!!!
Hp: awwwwwwwww
Hp: slap him again sevvy!
Snape:...
Kat: Wait!!! You might ruin his face!!
Kat: hey, if you want, when sevvy ain't looking I’ll hit him with a frying pan!!
Hp: o yes!
Hp: go, now! Now!
Kat: Hey Snape!! Look a birdie!!!!*Points *
Snape; awwwww
Kat: *smacks Snape with frying pan! * Quick!
Hp: awwwwwwwwwwwww hit him harder! He just kinda looks dizzy. Not knocked out
Kat: *hit's Snape harder*
Hp: yay!
Kat: cheap piece of tin!
Hp: *performs the beautiful art of CPR *wink wink* just kidding
*Snape comes to*
Snape: what the...
Snape: what are you doing on top of me?
Hp: umm...
Kat: she tripped!!!
Hp: it was Potter's fault!
Hp: Harry tripped me!
Kat: better!!!
Hp: hi 5!
Kat: hi-c!!!
Hp: kool-aid!
Kat: *evil laugh* ORANGE SODA!!!!
Draculies; i love orange soda!
Snape: *looks around* where?
*Snape and Draculies hi-5 *
Kat: ROLLER COASTER!!!!
Hp: yay!
Kat: *grabs Draculies* Let's go!!!
Hp: *grabs Snape* hurry
Draculies; but I don't like speed!
Snape: ...
Kat: *smacks draculies* Silence!!!
Hp: can we go to the haunted hotel afterwards?
Hp: imagine... us 2 in an elevator w/ 3 hot guys... *sigh*
Kat: *smacks Hp*snap out of it plenty of time for daydreaming later!!
Hp: awww alright... off to the roller coaster then!!!!!!!!!!
Draculies; but I don't vanna!!!
Kat: *smacks Draculies* I said be quiet or I’ll give you a time out!!!
Snape: it’ll be... *hesitates* ... fun...
Kat: Omg!!! He said "fun"!!!
Hp: I know!!!!!!!!
Kat: I’m so proud!
Snape: IMPERIO!!!!!!!!!!!! *Makes Draculies go*
Kat: thanks you much , Sevy
*Draculies starts to cry*
Snape: hmph
Hp: awwwwwwwww
Kat: poor Draculies
Hp: don’t cry!
Kat: *hugs Draculies*
Kat: have some candy *gives Draculies a lolly pop*
Draculies;Yay!!
::5 minutes later::
*Dracula is sugar high*
Kat: o my....
Hp: umm…. *Draculs becomes un-sugar-highish*
Kat: ok that was different...I know never to do that again!
Hp: what? Its the same as getting hyper... its not even a real thing... my friend and I made it up... it means hyper
Kat: I know what a sugar high is
Kat: but I was imagining Dracula on one....
Hp: what’s wrong w/ that?
Kat: it just...doesn't seem right...
Hp: is it like Snape wearing pink?
Kat: uh-huh, ya…very much
Hp: Oh, ok
Hp: I’ll never say that again, sorry
Kat: no that's ok; we needed some…umm...what's the word?
Hp: unusualness?
Hp: weirdness...
Hp: non-normal-ness
Hp:?
Kat: a horror sequence
Kat: Quick to the haunted hotel!!!
Hp: yay! *Goes up to that one dude* hello
*Snape gives that one dude weird look*
Hp: *holds Snape’s hand* so what’s your name?
That one dude: ... ummmmm… Dude.
Hp: cool
Kat: dude...that a nice name
Snape: *sneers*
Hp: I prefer Severus though... so snapessy
Kat: what?
Hp: his name…
Hp: I prefer Severus’ name... I’m trying to get Snape... coz that dude’s cute but Snape’s hot
Kat: oh indeed, I agree
Hp: so... lets get in the elevator...
Kat: YAY!
Kat: come on Draculies! This will be fun!
Hp: *goes in w/ Snape and holds his hand* *secretly holds Dudes hand as well*
*Snape continues to eye dude*
*Draculies is very nervous and squeezes Kats arm*
Kat: Draculies you’re cutting off the circulation!!
Kat: wait! I prefer Vlad!!
Hp: who?
Kat: Dracula=Vlad
Hp: oooooh… ok
Dude: nothing to worry about, sir
Vlad; oh sure, I bet that's vat they all say!
Snape: *rolls eyes* *thinking; muggles, they think they know everything... bet he didn’t know this...*
*Snape pants Dude*
Hp: *gasp*
Kat: haha! *points*
*everyone except dude laughs histerically!*
Hp: lol
Vlad; I have to go
Kat: what?!
Vlad; I have to use the bathroom!!
Kat: Oh
Kat: Quick we have to find a bathroom!!
Hp: but were up high in the hotel thingy!!!
Vlad; but I have to go!!
*Pants less dude pulls lever*
*Elevator shoots down*
Kat: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*As the elevator goes down, dudes pants go up b/c of the gravity thing*
Snape: grrrrrrrrrrr
Vlad; MOMMY!!!!!
*Elevator hits bottom!*
*Snape jumps on dude and tackles him to the ground*
Snape: run to the bathroom Vlad!
Dude;AAAAA help me!!
*Vlad runs at an amazing speed*
Hp: *looks at dude then at Snape*
Hp: *looks at dude for a long time and looks at Severus* *smiles and tackles dude*
Kat: that doesn't look right
Hp: sorry
Hp: *looks at kat* did he make it?
Kat: I think so
*Large sighs echoes through building*
Kat: yeah he did
To Be Continued…

Hp and Kat Episode3

2005-02-10T18:26:00.000-05:00

Episode III
Vlad is Missing/Welcome to Hp Airlines
Chaos ensues....

Hp: hello toilet!
Toilet; hello Hp !!!!!
Hp: *nods head* wat up
Toilet; my lid
Toilet; and the seat
Hp: is it really?
Toilet; indeed
Hp: hey, are we still at Disneyland w/ the guys?
Katter: umm… yeah ok
Hp: no, I’m asking
Toilet; you went to Disney land and didn't invite me?
Hp: it’s a Disney toilet
Katter: it's Vlad’s toilet
Hp: were did he go? He’s not in here (bathroom)
Katter: umm… Vlad or the toilet?
Hp: both
Katter: umm maybe the toilet ate Vlad...
Katter: and then ran away to Vegas
Hp: ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! We must go after it!
Katter: ok but how?
Hp: hp airlines
Katter: ok great
Katter: what do we do a bout them *points at Snape and dude*
Hp: we're definitely taking Snape... dude can stay I guess
Hp: *grabs Snape* lets go
Katter: quickly!!
Hp: *runs to hp plane*
Katter: *goes to grab Vlad but remembers he isn't there*
Hp: *gets on plane followed by Snape*
Katter: wait for me! * Runs onto plan*
Katter: hey, where’s the pilot!!
Hp: umm…
Hp: Snape!
Katter: ooo…. can I drive?
Hp: ok
Katter: YAY!
Hp: go you!
Katter: yay me!
Katter: let's go!! *Starts to push random knobies and levers*
Hp: *takes a seat and so does Snape*
Snape: what is it with these muggles? Stupid transportation
Katter: shh… I’m trying to concentrate!!
Voice in Kats head; use the force Katter....
Hp: lets go already!
Hp: *flaps arms trying to fly*
Katter: shh… these things take time!!!!
Snape: *looks at Hp like she’s crazy, which she is*
Katter: *concentrates*"The Force..."
Snape; that's it I can't take it!!!!!! Move aside* pushes Kat out of way*
Katter: Hey!
Hp: meanie!
Katter: ya!
Katter: May the force not be with you!!
*Snape does this magic thing so the plane flies itself and he can sit w/ us! *
Katter: Where's my light saber??!!!
Katter: I can't find my light saber!!!
Hp: that’s odd... I cant find my wand...
Voice in Kats head; the force Katter, the force....
Katter: shut up!!!!!!
Voice in Kats head; the force...
Katter: I said shut up!!!! *Bangs head up against wall*
*Kats brain falls out*
Katter: AAAA help!!
Hp: hey! lookit!!!!
Brain: now I shall take over! Muahahahaha...
Katter: O-no what will we do?
Snape: idiotic thing...
Hp: we should talk to it and see what it wants
Hp: so... brain... how you been?
Brain; bored stiff from not being used
Hp: what?! You’re used so much that... looky those muscles!!!
Brian; well, I work out sometimes...
Snape: *hits brain w/ a bat*
Hp: Noooooooooooo
Hp: meanie... why have you become so mean Severus?
Katter: well....
Katter: I know!!!
Hp: what?
Katter: He's crossed over to the Dark side!!!!!!
Hp: ooooo…snapessy...
Katter: *smack Sevy* how could you!!!
Hp: I like bad guys...
Katter: not these kind of bad guys...
Hp: as long as you don’t kill innocent people
Katter: that's what they do!!!
Hp: snape! *cries*
Hp: how could you
Katter: we must convert him back to the light side
Hp: or just to his regular self... him in the light side would be horrific
Katter: oh.... right...
Hp: k
Katter: umm... let's try this *smacks him with frying pan*
Katter: did it work?
Hp: *rushes over to him*
Hp: are you ok?
Snape: *turns to Kat w/ that one mean look but its really hot*
*Frying pan melts in Kats hands*
Hp: *pushes her aside so I can get the hot/mean look*
Katter: Look what he did to my frying pan!!!!
Katter: I got this thing from Wal-Mart!!!
Hp: Reparo!!!
Katter: YAY!! Thank you hp
Hp: it was nothing
Katter: *hugs frying pan*
audience: awwwwwwww
Katter: wait! Who’s flying the plain?
Hp: no one remember?
Katter: but.... how?
Hp: Snape cast a spell
Katter: Oh yeah....
Hp: so it can fly itself
Katter: coolies
Snape & hp: indeed
Snape & hp: *look at each other*
Hp: hey!
Snape: *sneers*
Audience/kat/frying pan/;Awwwwww
Snape;*sneers more*
Katter: hey that sounds like "s'mores"
Hp: haha
Hp: *sits still and doesn’t no what to do*
Katter: I know!! *Hits snape with frying pan*
Hp: *pushes Kat aside* how dare you hit my precious!!! *Becomes obsessed w/ Snape*
HP/Gollum: my... presssssiousssssssssssss
Hp/Gollum: *watches his every move*
Brain; *whines* are we there yet??
gollum/hp: no! *runs in circles* hp hp hp
Katter: oh dear
Speaker: we will be arriving in 15 minutes *whispers* so u weirdoes will soon vanish...
Hp: dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn

Hp and Kat Episode4

2005-02-09T20:52:00.000-05:00

Episode IV
Imposter/Las Vegas

Katter: AAAAAAAAAAA
Katter: what do we do??
Katter: my brain is still loose!!
Katter: the ductape didn't hold!
Hp: ahhhhhhhhh
Snape: any excuse to make that dude disappear from my sight *does some funky spell and brain goes back into Kats head*
Katter: YAY!!!!
Hp/Gollum: how did u do that... my preciooussssssssss
Katter: does this thing know how to land?
Hp: I hope so...
Katter: Snape?
Thing: I know how to land
Katter: ok you better
Snape: *apparates all of us to Vegas*
Katter: hey! If you could do that, what was the point of taking a plane?!
Ssnape: just be glad I got you out of there
Katter: well, ok *is glad*
Hp: so... Vegas...
Snape: LETS GAMBLE!!! *Runs to closest casino*
Hp: *looks scared*
Hp: *more like horrified*
Katter: what's wrong?
Hp: *backs away from Snape* what have you done to the real Severus...?
Snape: its me, Severus Snape
Hp: I know you better!
Snape: awwwwww c'mon!
Hp: there! Who are you!!!???
Katter: *screams and smacks fake Sevy with the frying pan*
Katter: sorry reflex
Hp: *helps Kat*
Hp: it's ok
Katter: but if this isn't the real Sevy, then where is the real Sevy?*looks at fake Sevy* Who are you and what have you done with Severus??!!!
Snape: *backs away coz he just realized who he's messing with*
Katter: huh-uh you better watch you back. I have a magic frying pan and I’m not afraid to use it!!
Hp: OMG!!!!!!!!! DRACULIES!!!!!!!!!!!
Katter: where?!!
Hp: *points* right behind you!
Katter: AAAA!!!* Turns around and smacks Vlad with frying pan* o-no I'm so sorry, It’s a reflex! I can't help it!!!
Katter: *hugs Vlad*
Audience/hp/frying pan/fake Sevy: awwwwwwwwwwwww
Vlad: *hugs back*
Katter: wait! We need to make sure it's the real him.
Hp: how?
Katter: Draculies, what's your favorite color?
Vlad; pink
Katter: it's him!!!!!!!
Katter: YAY!!!
Katter: *smacks Vlad* don't disappear on me like that again!!
Vlad: I von’t, I promise.
Katter: ok I’m happy *is happy*
Hp: now help me! Where's the real Severus?
Hp: *starts to cry*
Katter: oh yeah...
Katter: don't cry!!!!
Hp: I miss him!
Katter: here, smack him with the frying pan *hands hp the frying pan*
Hp: YAY! *Takes frying pan and smacks the crap outta the imposter*
Hp: thanks *hands it back*
Katter: *takes frying pan* feel better?
Hp: yes, very, thank you so much
Katter: it's the least I could do
Hp: Vlad, use your intense intensity to make him tell you where Snape is ... please
Vlad;umm… ok.
Katter: may the force be vith you, I mean with you!
Vlad;*looks at imposter Snape, and for a minute becomes "Count Dracula"* tell me, vhat have you done vith Snape?!!
Katter: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Imposter Snape: *wets his pants and screams like a little girl* I WANT... I WANT MY MOMMYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
Katter: maybe that was a bit too intense Vlad.
Vlad; sorry
Katter: it's ok, but next time keep it PG
Vlad; okie dokie
Hp: LOL HE SED OKIE DOKIE
Katter: lol I know!!!
Katter: so what now?
Hp: what ?
Hp: WHAT ?
Katter: WHAT!!!
Hp: ooooooooooooh
Hp: here, can I se THE PAN?
Katter: but of course!!!! My pan, is your pan...*hands hp THE PAN* you might want to stand back Vlad.
Vlad; *looks frightened*
Hp: *smacks imposter till he is motionless... but not dead of course*
Hp: *uses that one potion that makes you tell the truth* now... where is he?
Imposter: I am under the Polly juice potion thing...
Katter: and…
Imposter; and I’m...
Katter: what??!!!!
Hp: you're what!?
Imposter;I'm.....Alan Rickman
Hp: omg!
Hp: ALAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Katter: AAAAAAA
Katter: dun-dun-duuuuuuuuun

Hp and Kat Episode5

2005-02-07T18:29:00.000-05:00

Fyi; this was written months after Episode IV
Episode V
Now Snape is Missing/Black Hole=Singing

Kat: Omg! Alan!
Alan: yes it is I! *Outkast plays in background*
Hp: hmmm that sounds familiar… what song is playing?
Kat: Hey-ya
Kat: you know how Alan sang that remember?
Hp: yeah I heard about it... I so wanted to hear him
Hp: bummer
Kat: yes well it was s'posed to be a joke you know?
Hp: no I don’t know much
Snape's voice; Hello! Can y'all get back to the situation at hand! I’m still missing!!
Hp: whoa he said "y’all"
Hp: *goes crazy* I just don't no anymore!!!
Kat: AAAAA
Draculies; *copies though he don't have a clue what's going on*
Hp: hmm… where did we see him last?
Kat: well, we have to find out where they switched.... hmmm
Kat: maybe when we got off the plane...
Hp: yay! Time turner time
Kat: yay!
Draculies; YAY!
Kat: what do we do with Alan?
Hp: umm… I guess we can take him w/ us but then I dunno he might be a hassle you know...
Kat: hmm*looks at Alan who is now thumb wrestling with Vlad*
Kat: maybe so.... Vlad is enough
Kat: let's leave him here
Hp: yeah he might slow us down and we need to find Snape asap
Kat: indeed. Let’s go! *Pulls out time turner*
Hp: yay! This is so exciting! *Runs around in circles endlessly*
Hp: *remembers Snape isn’t here and stops*
Kat: Come one! *Puts chain around hp Vlad an herself*
Kat: how many times?
Hp: umm… what time is it?
Hp: what day is it?
Kat: 7:11 pm my time
Hp: what year is it?
Kat: it's been a couple months so…
Kat: Holy Cow we've stuck here for months!!!!
Hp: wow... it only seemed for years
Vlad: vat are you talking about? It felt like seconds
Kat: maybe to you
Kat: poor Snape! He could be anywhere!
Hp: *starts to cry* I need my Sevy!
audience; awwwwwwwww
Kat: quick! I’ll just shake it a few times!!! *Shakes time turner furiously*
*Time turner breaks*
Hp: Nooooooooooo!!!!!
*Hp cat and Vlad are sucked into a black hole*
Kat: AAAAAAA
Vlad; Mommmy!!!!!
Vlads mommy: I’m right here
Vlad; yay! *Hugs his mommy*
Kat: wat do we do now, hp?!
Hp: umm…
Hp: we sing Imagine!
Kat: YAY!
Vlad;*pulls piano from pocket and plays*
Kat: whoa
Hp: awesome dude...
Kat: (Imagine?)
Hp: (John Lennon)
Kat: (oooo, never heard)
Kat: (is there a piano)
Hp: (I think so. yeah sure why not? and if there isn’t we’ll just add one)
Kat: (ok)
Vlad; my fingers are getting bored, can ve sing now or vat?
Hp: only if you sing along, oh great sexy one
Kat: hmmmm...
Hp: *sings*u may say I’m a dreamer but I’m not the only one... I hope someday you’ll join us and the world will live as one....
*Vlad and Kat sing along* *Kat is very off-key*
Hp: *pushes a button here and there and turns the key* there you go mate
Kat: *Kat sings on key* t/y ,hp
Kat: Vlad ,you sound like, hmm…can't place it...
vlad: *looks like he’s about to cry* am I good or bad....?
Kat: your good, just umm….who does he sound like hp?!
Kat: I can't think of it!!!!
Hp: Cher! he’s a man isn’t he?
Hp: (lol kidding)
Kat:( lol!)
Hp: or maybe John Lennon I dunno
Kat: I know!
Kat: the lead for Jet!
Kat: Vlad sing that are you gonna be my girl song
Vlad;*pulls out electric guitar*
Hp: omg! soooooo hot
Hp: no, no. Look what you’ve don.e
Hp: that one’s cool
Kat: ok yeah, that one!
Vlad;*sighs puts guitar away, pulls piano back out*
Vlad; *sings*take my photo off the wall if it just won't sing 4 uuuuu
Hp: no I prefer the guitar
Hp: it makes u look hotter and badder
Vlad;*switches 2 guitar*
Hp: no, no. Both! Multi task!
Vlad;*sighs*
Hp: *faints*
Vlad;*pulls out piano*
*light bulb pops over his head and turns on*
vlad; I have an idea!
*Vlad closes eyes and concentrates very hard*
*There’s is a loud pop, there are now 2 Vlads*
Kat: wow...*stares in awe*
Hp: *wakes up sees what’s happened then refaints*
Hp: double the hotness!
*Kat just stares*
*And stares*
Vlad and vlad2 start to play piano and guitar*
*Kat stares*
HP: *reawakes*
Vlad&vlad2 (at same time); Vat shall ve play?
Hp: *faints*
*Kat stares*
Kat: *eyes start to bulge out of head, as they start to play...*
Kat: (thinking)
Hp: *reawakens*
Kat: U2?
Kat: Modest Mouse!!!!
Hp: heck yeah!
Hp: U2 and Modest Mouse
*Vlad and vlad2 play Float On*
Hp: they rock
Hp: haha that song scares tom
Kat: lol really?
Hp: yeah
Kat: haha
Kat: look I see a light!!!
Vlad and vlad2; purty...
Hp: *runs to it*
Hp: I’m gonna get u I’m gonna get u... you’re gonna be my best friend.....
Kat: o-no…
Vlad; I saw it first!
Vlad2; did not!
Vlad; did too!!
Vlad 2;did not!!!!!
*And on...*
Hp: lol you sound like me and sub...
Kat: haha
::ten hours later::
*Still at it*
Vlad; do 2
Vlad2; did not!!!
Vlad; *punches vlad2 which since they're both Vlad hurts them both*
Vlad& vlad2; ouch!
Hp: awww poor you...
Hp: *rushes over*
Hp: *trips*
Kat: *points and laughs* haha
Kat: what did u trip over hp?
Kat: *looks*
Kat: *gasps*
Kat: *stares*
Hp: *looks*
Hp: no! It cant be!

Hp and Kat Episode4

2005-02-05T20:20:00.000-05:00

Hp and Kat Episode6

2005-02-05T18:31:00.000-05:00

Episode VI
There and Back Again/Camels and Turkeys

Hp: SNAPE!
Kat: *stares, moves mouth to speak but can't*
Vlad & vlad2; YAY! SNAPE!!!
Snape;....o-no.....
Snape*stares*
*Kat stares*
Then a # of things happen...
Hp: (this I want to hear)
*Kat and Snape both let out a blood curdling scream. Snape, because of the 2 Vlads. Kat, because of Snape. Vlad2 explodes coz of the high pitchness. Vlad is now covered in green goo which grosses Hp out so she barfes(on Snape) who is still screaming. Kat stops and goes over to eat the green goo that was vlad2, and then Vlad trips and falls through a hole and drags everyone else with him.*
Hp: AHHHHHHH
eveyone; AAAAAAAAHHHHHH
*There is a very large thump as everyone crashes to earth.*
*Middle-earth*
Hp: whoa...
Hp: lets look for Legolas!
Hp: *runs off*
Kat: *stands in wonder*
Kat: I wonder...
Kat: HALDIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*Screams like a wring wraith and runs off*
Kat: *following hp*
*Vlad and Snape r left alone*
*Chaos ensues...*
Vlad; I thought we'd never get rid of them
Snape; I thought I had..
Vlad;*punches Snape*
Snape; owy! what was that for?!!
Vlad; leaving me behind!!!
Snape; hey it wasn't my fault.
Snape;I tried but you were glued to the Kat-monkey.
Vlad; she's not a monkey!
Snape; oh, yeah?
Snape; I think.....I think you like her.
Vlad; do not!
Snape; do 2!
Vlad; well....what about hp? huh?
Snape; *looks horrified*
Vlad; *in sing-song voice* Snape and Hp sitting in a tree..
Snape; *punches Vlad* Shut up!
Vlad; *punches back* you started it!
Snape; *punches back* did not!
Vlad; *punches back* did 2!
Hp: (fight!)
Kat: (fight, fight, fight!)
Audience: fight, fight, fight!
*Vlad and Snape do indeed fight*
*Which doesn't have a very happy ending. *
*Or does it.... *
*Vlad bit Snape and Snape gouged out Vlad's beautiful eyes*
audience; oooooo
*Gandalf appears*
Gandalf; its all fun and games till someone looses an eye, Or their mortality.
Announcer; that's right ladies and gents. Snape is now a vampire!
Audience; *cheers*
Hp: *so do I*
*Gandalf sends owl to hp and Kat*
Kat: lookit! Snape is a vampire now!!!!
Kat: and the sun is going down!!!
Kat: let's turn around!!! *Turns her camel around*
Kat: hp? *Looks 4 hp* hp??????
*Wolf howls in distance*
Kat: oh, dear.
Hp: *runs like the wind*
Hp: HECH YEAH!!!!!!
Kat: YAY!!!
Kat: camel race!! *Turns on jet pack that is strapped to camel (named Frodo)*
Kat: woo-hoo!!!!!!!
Hp: *gets on camel named Sam*
Hp: it’s on
Kat: I’m gonna win*sticks out tongue*
*It sticks back in*
Hp: haha not even your tongue agrees!
Kat: *bites tongue* OW!!!
Tongue; ow!!!
Kat: *camel Frodo farts which serves as a speed boost*
Kat: Yeehaw!!
Hp: *wins*
Kat: NOOOooooooooo
Kat: *cries*
Hp: awww noooo....
Hp: I’m so sorry... want a cookie?
Kat: yay! Cookie! *Eats cookie*yuuuuummm.
Kat: where’s Snape??!
Kat: and Vlad?!
I am here!!!*Vlad poofs behind Kat*
Hp: wow
*Kat screams and punches Vlad, like always*
Vlad;*doubles over in pain*
Hp: awww
Kat; srry.
Hp: *hisses at Kat* u hurt the pressssioussssss
Hp: *hisses back*
Snape; pathetic...
Hp: COME OVER TO THE DARK SIDE... we’ve got cookies
Kat: I made them!!!
Kat: ME!!!!
Kat: I did!!!!!!!!!!
Kat: Muhahaha!!
*Kat suddenly disappears*
Kat: o no!
Vlad; Snape....
Snape; what?
*Turkey falls from the sky*
Snape; that was random...
Hp: *runs to it* KAT?!
Vlad; vat about this thing isn't random?
Hp: you’ve got a point their mate...
Snape; true...
Vlad; now, vat did u do with Kat?
Snape; who?
Vlad; Kat! where is she?!
Snape; what I mean what do u care?
*Before Vlad can answer the turkey explodes*
Kat; it's me! I was the turkey all along!!!!!!!
Hp: tha-thats not possible...
Vlad; Snape?
Snape: Vlad?
Snape; *stares* Dude, I didn't do that.?
Hp: *points and laughs* you said "dude"...
Hp: *stops* hot... *continues*
Snape; I had nothing to do with the turkey. *Stares at Kat who is covered with turkey guts*
Kat: I was the turkey!!!! ME!!!!!!
Vlad; yes, so you vere...
Hp: awww poor turkey...
Kat: No I was the turkey!
Kat: ME!!!!
snape;....but....where?... how?....what?...turkey?.....why?
Kat: why not?
Vlad; hmm…
Snape; i dunno..
Kat: oooo snape....are those....fangs?
Hp: I’LL CHECK!
Hp: *opens his mouth*
Hp: hmmm better let my mouth do the work for this one....
Hp: (kidding)
Hp: yup those r fangs...
Kat: ooooo snapessy....
Hp: indeed mate, indeed...
Vlad; o-no the sun!!!!!!
Kat: quick Snape apparate us!
* Snape apparates all the 4 of them to....*
*Disney world!!*

Hp and Kat Episode7

2005-02-04T18:32:00.000-05:00

Episode VII
The End of All Things/Hippos

Kat: hey lookit!
Vlad; oo look there are my 3 brides
Kat: what?!
Kat: NOooooo!
Hp: lets kill them!
Vlad; bye-bye!
Kat: *gets evil scary look in eyes*
Snape; 3 brides? ...
*Kat looks very scary*
*Beeping, lots of beeping*
Kat: *looks at Snape* well, are you gonna answer that?
Snape; OH! ...Hello...huh-uh...yes...I see.... huh-uh…
Snape*hangs up*; sorry girls, but I must go. I have…uh...work, you know?
Kat: sure....
Hp: *about to cry* where are you going? Can I come?
Snape; umm...no
Hp: *cries* why the hellnot?!
Snape; umm.... well....coz...
Hp: *goes crazy-er*
Snape; oh, dear… wait.... umm...I’ll be back....maybe...
Hp: where are you going?
Hp: what are you hiding?
Hp: don’t leave me here...
Snape;*starts to feel sorry for her* umm....but....grrr...I can't take this!!!!!!*Turns to walk away*
*Which happens to be the same way Vlad went...*
Hp: *runs after him*
Hp: just tell me...
Hp: I wont get mad or anything
Snape;*pauses* well.......*whispers in hp's ear*
Hp: whoa nuh-uh!
Snape; shhh.... *nods head*
Kat: what? I wanna know!!!
Hp: *raises eyebrow*
Hp: hmm…
Kat: awww c'mon!!!
Kat: please!!!!
Snape; No!! *Goes to leave again*
Kat: *pouts*
Hp: *whispers to him* so do u think its safe for me to go along?
Snape; no, u can't *thinking "but maybe.... she’ll get eaten or something.... No! Yes! No! Yes...grrrr..."*
Hp: *cries*
Kat: Hp, I have idea...*whispers in Hp’s ear*
Snape;*sighs*
Vlad: rolls eyes*
Kat; lookit what you done! you made her cry!! Go on and. go! Leave! *evil laugh*
*Snape leaves, not very happy. Vlad follows*
*Kat and Hp follow in secrecy..*
*Snape& Vlad reach exit and are about to leave ...meanwhile...*
Kat: shhh Hp stop making all that noise!!!
Kat: we can't be caught!
Hp: *stops taking pics*
*Hp and Kat have made it to the nerve center of Disney land*
Hp: *yells out* I’m so happy coz today I found my friends there in my head... and b/c I’m on the happiest place on earth.
Kat: SHHHH!!!!!!
Voice; hey did you here something Fred?
Fred; yes I think so, George.
Kat: Hp! it's the Weasley twins!!!
Hp: gaspers!!!
Hp: and it looks like Sub’s here too
Kat: whoa!!!
Kat: maybe they'll help us.
Hp: of course they will they’re awesome
Kat: indeed
Hp: as are we, so awesome people get along so yeah
Kat: yay!
*Sub finds Hp and brings Fred and George and they all help do whatever it is they're doing*
Kat: is it the red or green wire?
Fred; red
George; no green
Fred; are you sure?
Sub; it's the blue one
Hp: it’s the yellow one
Kat: grrrr…
Hp: no wait what? ...
Kat: I dunno
Kat: *looks round spots lever labeled "lights"* *evil laugh*
Hp: *also laughs*
Kat: Hp are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Hp: haha.... I don’t get it.....
Hp: ...
Kat: ...
Kat: just c'mon.
Kat: help me it's stuck *tries to pull lever*
Kat: I want it "on"!
Hp: *shrugs* ok
*Fred, George, Sub, Hp, and Kat try to pull lever*
Hp: that’s coz you’re pulling the wrong way!
Hp: it’s THIS way...
Kat: ooooo
*All pull*
*Lever moves* *all the lights in Disney world turn on at full power with all the hot intensity of sunny delight*
* I mean the sun*
Hp: YAY!!!!!
*Within 5 min. everyone in the park has very severe sunburns. Drac’s brides have been destroyed (yay!) and Snape and Vlad are hiding under a hippo*
Hippo: *makes hippoish noise*
*And moves*
Snape and Vlad; noooo!
*Kat, Hp, Fred, George, and Sub apparate to where Vlad and Snape are. All decked out in beach ware and loaded with sunscreen*
Kat: haha *points*
Vlad; *cries* why?
Snape;what he said...
Kat: *evil laugh* coz it's funny and the fun had to end sometime.
Hp: *cries*
Kat: its ok Hp it will all be over soon.
Hp: I’m freaking terrified of the ocean...
Kat: ...
Hp: and mirrors....
Kat: whoa
Kat: I’m scared of clowns
Kat: and heights
Vlad; I’m scared of kittens
Snape; dude...
Kat: really?
Vlad; yes...
Kat: oh, that explains things...or not...
Hp: in a way yes
Kat: well first thing is first
Kat: get rid of witnesses
*Pulls out activator thingy**pushes button*
Hp: heck yeah
*The core of Disney world explodes**destroying all life*
* I mean ALL life*
THE END!!!
Or is it...
Hp: no wait...
Hp: we missed a kangaroo!
Kat: kill it!!!!!
Hp: ahhhhh
*Hp and Kat run after kangaroo and disappear into the sunset*

Hp and Kat Episode4

2005-02-03T20:27:00.000-05:00

2004-12-21T22:24:00.000-05:00

Someone should stab you in the eye
with a very hot french fry!!!!!

Of Canadian Bananas and EVIL SPACE MONKEYS!!!!

2004-10-27T11:40:00.000-04:00

well,when i'm bored i come up very stupid storys
i just told my parents what i did today
and now i shall tell you

first i must ask you;

Can you stick your tongue up your nose?

if you answered "no"then you get a free banana!!

if you answered "Yes"then you know that by doing this you can see your brain
yes,you can see you're brain
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Person reading;you can't see your brain!
Katter;how would you know?Can you stick your tongue up your nose?
person reading;well,no but-
Katter;you get a free banana! *throws banana at reader*
person reading;ow!!
Katter;you're welcome!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
moving on..

anyway,as i was saying if you stick your tongue up your nose you can see your brain
but i couldn't see my brain!!
i could see the inside of my skull,even the little squirrel that lives there,but no brain
i looked everywhere
i was going to ask the squirrel if he had seen it,but before i could he was eaten by the chinese reptilian koala.

you see earlier i had sold my original brain on Ebay and being as it was unused and in perfect condition,i got a whole bushel of bananas
which i am now sharing with all my poor readers who are incapable of sticking their tongue up their noses

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
poor reader that is incapable of sticking his tongue up his nose;hey,this banana taste funny
Katter;they're s'posed to taste like that.They're Canadian.
prtishtuhn;there are bananas in Canada?
Katter;have a banana! *throws banana at prtishtuhn*
prtishtuhn;hey!
Katter;no,not "hay","banana"!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

but not to worry i have a spair brain!
or i did anyway
it turns out my brain was kidnapped by
EVIL SPACE MONKEYS!!!!!!!
reader screams;Nooooooooooooooo

yes,EVIL SPACE MONKEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!

reader screams[again];Nooooooooooooooooooo

yes,EVIL SPACE MONKEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

reader screams[yet again];NOoooooooooooooooooooo.....

you can stop that now

reader[still screaming];.......ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo......
i said enough!

reader stops screaming

here have a banana! *throws banana*

yes,and they demanded that i give them Canadian Bacon or i would never see my brain again

of course i told them i did not have any Canadian Bacon and when they asked why i explained to them that i couldn't possibly have Canadian Bacon becuase i do not live in Canada

after realizing what had happened they apologized and gave me my brain back
but the only problem is it's not my brain!
they gave me the wrong one!!
so now i keep having these wierd visions of toaster ovens and oranges

i keep calling the EVIL SPACE MONKEYS!!!!!!..

reader goes to scream but chokes due to a banana suddenly being shoved in her mouth

....but all i get is their answering machine
o,well maybe tomorrow...

Chain Reaction

2004-10-25T11:46:00.000-04:00

well,Hp.you wanted more so here it is.i dedicate this thing to you
man this has got to be the most stupidest thing i have ever come up with!!
that will probably change tomorrow though.

WARNING;contains big explosions and large amounts of stupidity
i am not responsible for any brain damage psychological trama or anything else that may happen to you from reading this
read at your own risk
--------------------------------------------------------------------
I went to call the EVIL SPACE MONKEYS!!!!!!

Waits for reader to scream, but nothing happens…

This morning, but I dialed the wrong number and got Tarzans cell [who is vacationing on the Planet of the Apes] that was very embarrassing

When I tried again I got a smurf. So I took the opportunity to ask it a question that has always bugged me.
If you choked a smurf, what color would it turn?

It hung up.
I gave up and decided to try again later.

I would really like to have my brain back. These visions of toaster ovens and oranges are starting to scare me and last night I had a dream [it was more like a nightmare] of a tap-dancing frog.

Chinese reptilian koala; It was a toad!
Katter; says who?
Chinese reptilian koala; says me!
Katter; O yeah?
Chinese reptilian koala; Yeah,coz I just said it!
Katter; O…..
Katter; But a frog is more interesting. No one wants to hear about a tap-dancing toad!
Chinese reptilian koala; I never thought of it like that.
Katter; well, here have a banana!
*Chinese reptilian koala starts to run away, but still gets hit by banana*
Katter; Darn!
That was my last one!
Readers cheer; YAY! No more bananas!!!!
Katter; O yeah??!!! Well, take that!!
*Throws acorns at readers who are then attacked by giant radioactive squirrels [that go boom] and then…*

BOOM!!!!!

YAY! No more readers!!!!

So anyway last night I had a dream about a tap-dancing FROG
But not only that, There was also Badgers!! Hundreds of them!!!And they were all dancing [at least that what I think they were doin’]And the tap-dancing FROG was singing the Badger, Badger, Mushroom song![http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/] click here

Reader; Badgers stink!!

Where did you come from??!!

Reader; I just signed on. Why?

*Throws acorn at reader, but misses*

Reader [laughs]; you missed me-- AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

*Throws giant radioactive flying squirrel, this time does not miss*

BOOM!!!
*Pulls mini radar machine thingy out of pocket*

There’s still one more out there!!!Quick! Bring out mega-squirrel with laser eyebeams, full body armor, anti-gravity boots, built in machine guns, bazooka, radar screen, Satellite T.V., vacuum cleaner, book light, Internet access, PS2, MP3, can speak 4 different languages, does math homework, seats 4,cruise control, day planner, text messaging, and M&M dispenser!!

*15 giant radioactive squirrels come out carrying mega-squirrel with laser eyebeams, full body armor, anti-gravity boots, built in machine guns, bazooka, radar screen, Satellite T.V., vacuum cleaner, book light, Internet access, PS2, MP3, can speak 4 different languages, does math homework, seats 4,cruise control, day planner, text messaging, and M&M dispenser!!*

* This takes them quite awhile because mega-squirrel is quite large and very, very heavy, and they must be careful not to drop it or it will explode causing mass destruction*

AHA! Perfect!
*Pulls out instruction manual and reads*
“Push 'on' button”
*Looks for 'on' button. Sees bright red shiny button. Pushes bright red shiny button. Continues reading*
“Do not press bright red shiny button. This is the self destruct button”
Uh-oh

Chinese reptilian koala; she’s gonna blow!!!!!
Giant radioactive squirrel; Stop, drop, and roll!!!!
Chinese reptilian koala;(smacks squirrel) no you idiot!! Duck and cover!!
Katter;(smacks koala) no doofus!! Run for your life!!!
Chinese reptilian koala; well, I guess that would work too.

*Mega-squirrel starts to make weird scary noises, and starts to shake madly*
Giant radioactive squirrel;(screaming) MOMMY!!!!!

*Mega squirrel explodes causing mass destruction, and starts a chain reaction causing giant radioactive squirrels all over the world to explode, which causes a worldwide earthquake, which in turn, awakens a 4 million year old fire-breathing chipmunk that is so tall it would put Godzilla, and King-Kong to shame*

*Suddenly a huge sign appears covering the whole computer screen*
WE ARE EXPERIENCEING
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
PLEASE STAND BY

Producer (crawling out from under desk);Oh-no not again!!!

*4million year old fire-breathing chipmunk roars in the distance, along with people screaming, followed by what sounds like a giant cockroach being stepped on. People cease screaming. 4million year old fire-breathing chipmunk laughs*
Producer; quick!! Go to a commercial!!!________________________________________________
-------------Commercial --------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Person over intercom at the Taco Bell drive through; hello, welcome to Taco Bell. May I take your order?
Customer; yeah, gimme a Hotdog!!!
Person over intercom at the Taco Bell drive through; umm, we don’t have hotdogs.
Costumer; What?! Yes you do!
Person over intercom at the Taco Bell drive through; uh…no we don’t we only have tacos
Costumer; But I don’t want a taco I want a Hotdog! An all American, 100% all beef HOTdog!!Person over intercom at the Taco Bell drive through; but we don’t have Hotdogs!!
Costumer; do too!!
Person over intercom at the Taco Bell drive through; do not!!
Costumer; do too!!
Person over intercom at the Taco Bell drive through; do not!!
Costumer; do too!! The costumer is always right!!
Person over intercom at the Taco Bell drive through;……that’s not fair!
Costumer; do it! Or I’ll sue…
Person over intercom at the Taco Bell drive through; but where am I supposed to find a hotdog?!Taco chef; here you go. *Hands Person over intercom at the Taco Bell drive through a hotdog*
Person over intercom at the Taco Bell drive through;….where did this come from?!
Taco chef; *shrugs* I dunno, just doin my job.
Person over intercom at the Taco Bell drive through; but you’re a taco chef!
Taco chef; are you saying I don’t know how to do my job??!!
Person over intercom at the Taco Bell drive through; No that’s not what I said!! Just…where’d you get the hotdog??
Taco chef; I found it.
Person over intercom at the Taco Bell drive through; where?
Taco chef; you ask too many questions. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go salt the fries. *Taco chef walks off to go salt fries*
Person over intercom at the Taco Bell drive through; wait we don’t have fries!!
Costumer; so where’s my hotdog?!
*Person over intercom at the Taco Bell drive through jumps in surprise. Costumer has pulled up to drive through window*
Person at drive through window; uh…Yeah. Here.*Hands hotdog to costumer*
Customer; how much?
Person at drive through window; free of charge.
Costumer; good coz I’m broke*Costumer drives off*
New costumer; hello?
Person over intercom at the Taco Bell drive through; hello, welcome to Taco Bell may I take your order?
New costumer; yeah I want baked spaghetti.
* Person over intercom at the Taco Bell drive through runs away screaming*
_________________________________________________
-----------End Commercial------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Mongoose's Story

2004-10-24T19:18:00.000-04:00

finally,after much delay chapt3 is up!!!!YAY!!!!!! first i got a cold,then i couldn't get on the comp. to type it out,then the site was giving me probs so it took me lika an hour to get it up!
but i blame it all on Bunnicula!!tha little ball of fur drove me up a wall!!! always demanding pay raises,bigger trailers,was always late,never bothered to memorize his lines,complained about his lines,complained about his "character",complained about his co-workers[i can understand that] he complained about everything!!!all in all he was a huge pain in my side!! i don't think i could handle a sequel!!! not with him!!!
_________________________________________________________________
Very old Mongoose walks onstage and bows before the audience, which consists of only 5 members. Caveman Joe, Wombat, Bunnicula, Robot Pig, and Chinese Reptilian Koala, who is in a straight jacket, tied to his chair, with a very brightly colored striped sock in his mouth, and is looking highly irritated. Audience is silent.

Mongoose; Good evening, I am Mongoose. And I am here to tell you all my entire life story. Well, I was born 350 years ago March 6, 1654…

Bunnicula; Vat did I do to deserve this?
Wombat; uhhh… I dunno, do you think that maybe it has something to do with the fact that you’re a vampire and you suck the blood out of living creatures?!
Bunnicula;I don’t suck the blood out ov living creatures! I suck the blood out ov carrots!
Wombats; wait, carrots don’t even have blood! They’re a vegetable!
Bunnicula; so!
Wombat; so, you’re a vampire! You supposed to suck the blood of other animals.
Bunnicula; Bunny! Vampire bunny!! I’m a herbivore! A vegetarian! I don’t eat meat!
Wombat; O
Bunnicula [to himself]; Ha! Mortals, they think they know everything!
Wombat; what was that?
Bunnicula; nothing

Mongoose;…we didn’t have cars in my day. No, we had to walk 30 miles in rain, sleet, snow, tornadoes, hurricanes, lava…

Bunnicula; vat did you do to get in here?
Wombat; I pushed Humpty-Dumpty.Caveman Joe here helped me
Bunnicula; O,really that vas you?
Wombat; yup, together we both tripped Jack and Jill too.
Bunnicula; I think I remember hearing about that on CNN.
Wombat; what’s with the robot pig?
Bunnicula[shrugs]; I dunno.

Suddenly giant spaceship appears and evil space monkey falls out. Evil space monkey walks over and picks up robot pig.
Evils space monkey; Yay! Fluffy I have found you! I was so worried! Come on let’s go home.
Robot pig; Meow!
Evils space monkey takes robot to spaceship and then disappear

Bunnicula/wombat; awwwwwwwwwwwww

*Mongoose continues to tell his entire life story, which is getting more and more boring if possible*
*Caveman Joe has had enough*

Caveman Joe [throwing] arms up; Joe want out! Joe want out!
Bunnicula; Joe need deodorant! Joe need deodorant!
Wombat; hey, you wanna hear a joke?
Bunnicula; No.
Wombat; knock, knock
Bunnicula; who’s there?
Wombat; interrupting cow
Bunnicula; interrupting c-
Wombat;Moo!!
Bunnicula; that’s not funny
Wombat; then why am I laughing?
Caveman Joe; I don’t get it
Bunnicula; Vhy does that not surprise me?
Mongoose;…my tongue was stuck to that pole for 3 long days…
Bunnicula; Vill someone please just kill me now and be done vith it!
Wombat; but you’re already dead.
Bunnicula; thanks for reminding me.

Wombat; Joe, what are you doing?

(Caveman Joe had wondered off and was untying the Chinese reptilian koala)
Caveman Joe; I’ll save you cute, fuzzy thing.

Wombat/Bunnicula; Joe, No!!!

(But the Chinese reptilian koala was already loose, and looked very frightening with very long, sharp teeth and claws, and very evil looking eyes. the Chinese reptilian koala roared loudly and jumped onstage and attacked the mongoose)

Mongoose; AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!
Wombat; Oh, my! Joe, cover your eyes!
Bunnicula; that looks like it hurts.

_____________________
----------Interlude----------
-------------------------------
Dirt clod; dadadadadumlalaala
Soap; AHA! I have found you!!
*Dirt clod screams and runs away*
Soap; Come back!! I want to demonstrate my amazing cleansing power!!
____________________
-------------End-----------
-----------------------------

(scene of kitchen appears. Chewbacca walks in wearing apron. Audience cheers.)

Chewbacca; Good Evening,today on "Chewbacca Living" we will be making my favorite Chewy Wookie Cookies.

Audience;(cheers)

Chewbacca; but first we have a very special guest. Please welcome Obi-wan Kenobi!

(Obi-wan walks in and bows before audience) (the old Obi-wan not Ewan Mcgregor,sorry girls)
*female mebers of the audience look dissapointed and begin to leave*
"Wait! come back! ok,ok, it's Ewan Mcgregor!!!! Don't leave!!!"
*suddenly there are about twice as many girls as before*
"Ok,wow.[shrugs] as long as i got readers"

Audience;(MAJOR cheers)
Chewbacca; Good evening, Obi-wan. Thank you for joining us.
Obi-wan; I’m very happy to be here!
Chewbacca; now,what is it that you have come to share with us.
Obi-wan; well, chewy. I am here to show you how much easier housework can be when you use "The Force".

Audience;(Gasps)
Chewbacca; "The Force"? Really?!
Obi-wan; Yes, "The Force".
Chewbacca; Wow! That’s amazing! Would you mind showing us a demonstration?
Obi-wan; Certaintly!
Vacuum cleaner suddenly appears. Obi-wan stares at it and concentrates very hard. vacuum cleaner turns on and moves back and forth across the n floor.)

Audience;(goes wild)
Chewbacca; Wow! That is truly amazing!
Obi-wan; Yes, I know.
Chewbacca; How did you do that?
Obi-wan; well, it’s very simple. You just-
(Obi-wan is sucked up by the vacuum cleaner. Audience screams and the vacuum sucks them up too. It belches and laughs evilly)

Chewbacca; Oh, dear.

(vacuum turns on Chewy but starts shaking violently and then explodes. Chewbacca crawls out from behind kitchen counter)

Chewbacca;Oh,dear.This can’t be good. Umm…(looks at camera and smiles nervously)I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for today.Tune in next week, to learn how to make the snack all the way from planet Earth Cheese and Crackers! Y’all come back now, ya here!

2004-10-14T11:36:00.000-04:00

Banana!!

ur it!!!!!